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The garage

8th November 2018
0
Horse stuff in garage

Look at this. Just look. This is my garage. As in a garage for a car. I used to keep a car here but I had to sell it to buy the kind of shit that’s now sat where a car should be. So now I couldn’t put a car there even if I wanted too because the space has been nagged, like every other bit of space we have.

Look at that encroachment. All the bits of stuff pushed to the sides and around the corner. This is how it starts. It’s like a weed… left unchecked it’ll spread until it‘s filled the whole garage, I promise you.

I don’t even know what most of it is. I mean, I recognise boots of course – they look expensive, I probably bought them. And there’s a horse stick in them too. Then there’s a cat house behind them for some reason and I guess the rest is just matchy matchy shit and horse stroking equipment. Apart from the tubs, that’s bound to be salt. There’s always salt.

They’re not even here today, they’ve been away at a prancing competition for two days. And I’ve seen how much shit they take with them. This is just some leftovers, some extra stuff. Spares I suppose. Ridiculous.

Rooms of the house that are now dedicated to the horse and horse stuff:

The garden: Check.
CC2’s bedroom: Check.
The kitchen: Check.
The utility room: Check.
The garage: Check.
The car boot: Check

I know what CC1 will say next… “We need a bigger house”.

No we bloody don’t. We need a fewer horse.

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SDD is the reluctant, primary funding source of a dressage-obsessed young lady, currently 13, also known as Cost Centre Two (CC2). Cost Centre One (CC1) is his other half, at whose door he lays all blame, and quite bloody rightly too.

He likes cars, motorbikes, planes, guitars and wine. But not horses. Read more

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